Advice to Lucy on Her Upcoming Nuptuals

Lucy is getting married at the end of the month, and she is A Wreck!

So, Lucy, read the following, follow the following, and everything will work out great.

1. Something will go wrong - sometimes more than one thing, so there's no point in fretting over the inevitable. Besides, it doesn't matter because nobody cares. TRUST ME on this one. You will be the only one who cares and in a month, you won't care, either. So let go of it needing to be perfect. You've done what you needed to do, now just LET IT ALL GO. Once you stop aspiring for perfection your stress will ebb.

2. If you have any Mothers that are driving you nuts, grab your Maid of Honor and tell her to run interference. If your MOH is driving you nuts, tell the Best Man to distract her. (That's really what they're there for even if they don't realize it.)

3. The only thing any guest remembers from a wedding is:

• how beautiful the bride was;
• how awful the bridesmaids' ensembles were (IF they were, in fact, awful);
• whether they liked the cake; and,
• if applicable, how utterly dreadful the DJ/band was at the reception.

And, of the four, they'll only remember the bride after a month.

4. Everyone in attendance is, or should be, a close friend or family member - the people you love the most and who love you back. They are there to share your happiness, so they're rooting FOR you. (It's not like anyone is sitting there thinking to themselves, "Boy, I hope she trips on her train as she's walking down the aisle!")

5. Remember to breathe the minute you realize you're feeling even remotely anxious. And by "breathe" I mean to do what I tell Gigi. "Smell the flower and blow out the candle": deep, slooooow inhale, long sloooow exhale. Repeat in cycles of ten. This is THE KEY to wiping out your stress. Once the stress is banished, the nerves will fade and the skin will clear. (Seriously, the reason I walked away from my car accident without massive injuries was my ability to completely relax my body prior to impact - which I did by smelling the flower and blowing out the candle.)

6. Squirt a little Windex on those zits (it worked for the groom in My Big Fat Greek Wedding).

7. Make time to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding because...

8. Laughter is definitely the strongest stress eliminator there is (right next to smelling the flower and blowing out the candle).

9. When you pose for pictures remember to lower your chin a trifle, only smile half as big as normal, and let Jesus shine through your eyes. (Try this is in front of the mirror or have the MOH take your picture this weekend and see if you don't look fantastic.) (I'm sharing this because people are always so stressed about pictures coming out good - especially if they're scrapbookers. Now you know the secret to taking a perfect picture, there is no need to feel stressful about that.

10. Go soak in a hot tub with some relaxing bath salts. (Hydrotherapy is very popular in the booby hatch for a reason, you know. Does wonders for Crazy People.)

Now go BREATHE, watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding - in the tub, if necessary - and, if all else fails, smoke an all-natural, herbal cigarette.

*grin*

Love you, Lucy! Remember to HAVE FUN!!!

Comments

[Kelly Booth]

LOVE this...Perfect advise for Sweet Lucy...Deborah you just have a way with words!!LOL!

[Lorena]

Thoughtful and really funny! Deborah, I recently discovered your blog and I'm loving it :)
You have an award in my blog.
Hugs from Uruguay!

[jennifer mcguire]

awesome!

our limo broke down on the way to the reception.

my favorite photos are on the side of the highway. :)

lucy - your man is a lucky guy!

[donna mikasa]

Nobody says it like you, Deborah.....perfect!

[Lucy]

Deborah - you are hilarious!!! Thank you. Lots of laughter!! Just what I needed. I'm DEFINITELY going to be smelling the flower and blowing out the candle - that's going to stay with me forever. No doubt, if I dragged the TV into the bathroom I'd electrocute myself (with my current luck) so I'll stick to the sofa for movie watching. But movies are definitely on the cards for this weekend. You are a gem, thank you. And you are the funniest person I know!!!
Love you XXXX

[Laura in VA]

Wonderful advice!