Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

You may have seen this one before. If so, it doesn't matter because it's hysterical! (And I need a good laugh right now to take my mind off... well, you'll see....)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

 

JOHN MCCAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need

to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

 

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn't about me.......

 

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

 

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

 

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

 

COLIN POWELL :

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... .

 

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

 

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, the chicken crossed the road,

but why it crossed I've not been told.

 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die.   In the rain.   Alone.

 

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was GAY! Can't you people see the plain truth?! That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

 

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken cro ssed the road, and that was good enough.

 

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

 

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine there were no roads. And all the chickens were sitting there...in peace.

 

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cr a...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.

 

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

BILL CLINTON:

I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

 

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

 

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

 

DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

 

AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

 

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

 

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

 

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 

IN OTHER NEWS.... I JUST HAD MY FIRST HOT FLASH. AND IF THIS IS MENOPAUSE, I WANT NO PART OF IT! I GAVE BIRTH, DAMMIT! I DESERVE A BETTER EXPERIENCE. IF MEN HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS, I'M SURE THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION!

 

Now... if you'll, excuse me, I have to go wring out my shirt and get a dry one....

 

Comments

[stampersuzz]

Lol... trying to catch up and I am going to have to send the link to this to my sister. She will get a kick out of it!

[Paula]

Hi Deborah I feel for you & I agree if men had to suffer half as much as us they'd definately find a solution. Mind you they'd do a lot more whinging than they do now of course *wink*. Take care of you HUGS xoxoxoxo

[Lin]

Oh, Deborah, thanks for a good belly laugh! I had seen this awhile ago, but it certainly bears re-reading!

Oh, yeah, hot flashes.....you're a REAL woman now!!

[Lorena]

LOL! Still laughing as I type this!! I has read it before, but a shorter and not updated version.
Sorry about that hot flash. Not there yet, but I agree: if men had to go through it, they'd already have a solution.

[Pia]

This is hilarious - very funny!! Thanks for a good laugh Deborah!

[Dawn T]

LOL - Deborah you crack me up.... Interesting little ditty
- and getting your first hot flush WOW ...well not sure if I want to go there or put up with the other - thought by 52 I'd have had enough....still waiting for the end or the hot flushes... would warm me up here in the winter but knowing my luck... mid summer, hot flushes....