More Hospital Fun

So it looks like I'm fine.

But they want me to stay, anyway.

Loudmouthed Lauren, again, informed me of this in her own special way. Having been giving draughts of morphine through the night, her slapping the light on and shrieking was especially unpleasant. Although, I have to admit, morphine does have a tendency to make one NOT jump right out of their skin. It's more like you would jump out of your skin if you could find it.

Still, it took ten minutes for my heart to stop pounding.

Frankly, I think Lauren needs to work on her bedside manner. Putting the patient into cardiac arrest is frowned upon in the better hospitals, after all.

I tried to find out why I had to stay, but that Rotten Lauren said the doctor would explain it all to me later. Which was an out-and-out story. He never showed up. Some other guy did - and he didn't have a clue.

At least now I get to drink something. I've spent the last 24 hours without water, etc - just an IV drip (in case I might need surgery). I have been sipping water and annoying the nurses by escorting myself to the potty without the benefit of their help. After the first trip with a nurse, I paid attention so I could relieve myself without having to wait for her to show up next time.

It's a very complex procedure, you know.

You unplug the IV machine and toss the cord over the hooks along the top. Then you walk to the bathroom while wheeling the machine beside you.

Yessiree, very tricky stuff.

I went for a walk and did three laps around The Ninth Tower, expertly steering my IV unit around wheelchairs and pedestrians. I was going to attempt a square dance move with it, but that would have been showing off and might have created some form of resentment.  (Never, ever cheese-off people who routinely stick needles in your arm.)

I've spent the rest of my time dozing, running a mild temperature, reading Michener's Chesepeake, (not one of his better efforts) and watching That '70's Show via Netflix on my laptop. I LOVE WI-FI!!! I tried to answer some emails, but I opened my inbox, saw about a million emails, and promtply lost the will to live.

Or at least to stay awake. More napping.

Dinner was broth injected with half a jar of celery salt. 

LOTS more water.

I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and stuck earplugs in my ears because the stupid C-PAP machine was whistling like it was about to collapse. I didn't realize it at the time, but this was to prove to be most beneficial on the morrow....

Comments

[Jani]

ROFL...you are so fun! I was coming over to your blog to say thanks for leaving me some blog love. I became enchanted along the way :) Love your blog and your sense of humor. Having had many surgeries myself, I can so relate to the effects of morphine :) Hope you recover quickly and without inncident!