Society of Stampaholics

Good News & a Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 Contest Ought-Be Entry

If you remember, I was fed up with the ugly news that is favored by the media. So I had this idea of making a blog that reported nothing but good news. And then I thought, oh, I can't be the only person to have had this idea.

And I'm not!!!

If you're sick of nothing but bad news, check out the Good News Network. This is a paid subscription site. For as little as $2.00 a month, you can get a lot of good news. Considering that most people pay about $1.50 for their daily paper, I'd say it's worth it. You get a free 30-day trial, and I really hope you'll at least try the free trial and tell us all what you think of it.

Then there's the Happy News. This one is free and has lots of good stories.

You can also visit the Positive News Network, which has video reporting as well as links to other positive news stories.

I am so pleased to find these sites. (I am basically lazy by nature, so it's nice that I don't have to hunt down positive stories.)

And now onto the Oughta-Be entry in the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

I found this and couldn't believe it.

When I saw the price I couldn't believe that.

Here it is - the classic lamp - the Major Award - from the classic movie, The Christmas Story!

And it can be yours for only $225.00!

Yes, my jaw hit the floor, too.

Let's see, that's 40" of lamp divided by $225.00... ah, yes... that would be $5.63 of tackiness per inch.

For those who wish to spend less for their tackiness, the same lamp at 20" can be had for $34.95 (that would be 57 cents per tacky inch).

And if you act now, they'll throw in a tin of related band-aids:

I wonder if you can just buy the band-aids....

Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 - Entry #8 (or is that #9)?

We seem to have a theme going because this latest entry involves poo, too.

Sort of.

This entry comes from Barb, my very first online buddy (back in 1997 when the Internet was still brand new and I still had a soul - i.e. before law school). This gift provides a solution to wasted bathroom time - the sort of present one might give to the multi-tasker in one's life... because why just sit pottying when you can also practice your putting with the Potty Putter?

(I'm just linking to this one because, once again, some parents might object to Junior and Juniorette seeing the picture.)

The Potty Putter comes with its own putting green (complete with hole receptacle), two golf balls, a putter, a flag stick (so you don't miss the hole receptacle), and your very own "Do-Not- Disturb-I'm-Practicing-My-Putting" sign for the door handle.

A classic Stupid Gift, and it's all yours for $19.95!

But wait! Act now and we'll throw in this extra set of golf balls and a sand hazard for the sink ABSOLUTELY FREE! That's FOUR golfballs, the entire Potty Putter set AND the sand hazard for only $19.95! But you must act now! Supplies are limited....

This gift might be what you get for the Golf Pro at The Club, but don't take my word for it. I have never been a member of The Club. (There's a lot of reasons for this - one of them being that my sense of delicacy is seriously impaired as proven by my creating this contest....)
 

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Don't forget to enter the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

See RULES and sample entries.

Prizes are to be had, so enter now and don't miss out!!!

Let the Beatings Begin!

Ok, I don't know if this one really counts as an entry in the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest because...

I think these little guys are adorable!

Lucy's entry is small enough to fit into a stocking, and just perfect for the man who has everything. Because no matter how rich you are, I seriously doubt if you have a couple of little old men dukin' it out with their umbrellas!

Are these guys a hoot, or what?!

And no need to fret if all your friends are women, because in addition to the Fighting Grandpas, we also have the Racing Grannies:

Wind 'em up and let 'em go!

These items come from Presents for Men - a very nice little site in the UK (they deliver worldwide, btw). You should seriously check it out - there are not only some cool and clever gifts there, but also a few potential hopefuls for this contest! 

Like this terrific condiment squirt gun!

Keep those entries coming, girls!

This is more fun than a box of rocks at a scissors convention....

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Don't forget to enter the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

See RULES and sample entries.

Prizes are to be had, so enter now and don't miss out!!!

The Swedish Surprise

I have received another entry in the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest, and this one is truly bizarre - borders on the incredible, really. Let's all give Cheryl a big hand for her contribution and wonder in awe at her superior skill working the bad-gift-finding radar. 

If you really want your mind blown -- if you really want to say, "Now I've seen it all!" you have to visit this site to see their extended line of merchandise because, until you have, you ain't see it ALL. (You haven't even come close, you big poser.)

What we have here is a matching set - like salt'n'pepper shakers only very different. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you, straight from the loo, the plush you don't flush ...

Pee and Poo

  

Apparently, the Swedes have decided that the Toby, the Friendly Toilet dvd isn't cutting it, so they've developed a line of merchandise geared toward embracing that which should be eliminated. Actually, I thought the idea was hatched as a means of helping children get past their fears of potty training (see The Story), but it was really Emma Megitt's final design project, and somewhere along the way it took off with the grown-ups. (Who knew there was that much residual potty-training fear out there?) Visit their online shop to see other manifestations of this charming duo (they have keychains for about $9.00).

Even better, for FREE, you can send an e-card.

And you so know I'm going to do that very thing.

I don't know who would be the natural recipient of this gift - other than a toddler, that is. And you might want to re-think that idea if it's your own kid.

Because if your luck is anything like mine, your kid will decide that this is his favorite toy.

And he will name it. Something like Freddy the Poo (or Winnie the Poo if he has a smart-alecky sense of humor like my kid).

And he will insist that you refer to Freddy by his full name because he always will.

At the top of his lungs.

In the grocery store.

Because being Junior's favorite toy means that Freddy the Poo must accompany you everywhere. 

And all the other mommies will look at Freddy quizzically and then they'll ask that question you just knew they were going to ask:

"What exactly is that thing?"

Oh, just buy the kid a teddy bear and let him learn to cope with his pooping fears like the rest of us!

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Don't forget to enter the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

See RULES and sample entries.

Prizes are to be had, so enter now and don't miss out!!!

Crazy 101

Can I collapse any time soon? This week has been crazy, and I really need a break this weekend ... oh, wait ... my weekend looks to be even crazier.

I think there has been a mistake. I did not register for Crazy... Slightly Harried, yes, but I didn't sign up for Crazy. That's graduate level work, and I haven't even completed my seminar in Holiday Hysteria yet.

I know I'm Gifted in this particular field, but I honestly do not feel that I am up to an accelerated program of study.  (As a matter of fact, I am seriously considering dropping out of this discipline entirely so I can spend more time perfecting my rocking technique. I keep hitting my head against the wall a liiiit-tle too hard and it's counterproductive to the soothing calmness induced by backandforth, backandforth, backandforth....)

Seriously, I need another fall break.  

And this whole job thing is really cutting into my blogging time. Which has led me to a discovery: blogging is addictive. I know this because I used to (back in the day) be a smoker. I remember the miserable experience that is quitting: the headaches, the craving for a fix, the temper tantrums that result when you don't get a fix, the urge to beat someone senseless if they don't hand over those cigarettes - AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW, MISTER!

So I know the signs of Withdrawal. And all I can say is, although I haven't pulled anybody's undies over their head YET, I am strongly attracted to that idea. In fact, Spouse might have headed off to work peeking through his fly if I was denied my right to express myself in cyberspace one more day.

So here I am -- a much happier person. A kinder, gentler Deborah, if you will.

And now I'm going to post a new entry in the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest. Because this makes me Happy.

elana k has provided a stocking stuffer for our entertainment! Here is a candy dispenser with an unusual way of ... er... dispensing.

Now, isn't that what every boy wants in his stocking?

Actually, come to think of it, this would probably be a big hit with the male 8-12 year-old set.

And the 12-16 year-olds.

And the 16-25's.

And-- oh, heck, any male probably would snicker with delight at this one. If you want to share the love (via candy poop) this season, you can purchase your very own Pooping Polar Bear at the Paper Source for a mere $6.95. (Extra poop sold separately, of course.) 

And now I have to get back to Crazy 101 because there's going to be a quiz, and I haven't studied yet. (I have an "A" average so far, and I have to keep my grades up if I'm going to graduate with Honors, you know.)

Don't forget to enter the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

See RULES and sample entries.

Prizes are to be had, so enter now and don't miss out!!!

A Christmas Card and a Singing Vegetable

It's Monday and it's chilly.

Oh, good grief! I'm all for Going Green, but the thermostat was turned down to 60 degrees! I just upped it to 72. Let's see if that will take us out of chilly and into lukewarm.

I made a card Saturday night for the Hero Arts weekly challenge. We were supposed to use at least one stamped scrap and one HA stamp, so I chose this beautiful Inkadinkado reindeer I stamped about three weeks ago. I couldn't get it to work at that time, so I sat it aside for a future session. And here's what became of it:

SUPPLIES: Card stock: Archiver's, Bazzill; Patterned Paper: Wild Asparagus; Eyelets: Making Memories; Gems: Mark Richards; Large Star: FIMO clay; Buttons: Junkitz, Autumn Leaves; Embroidery floss: DMC; Lace: Paper Studio; Rickrack: Archiver's (?); Embossing Powder: PSX; Ink: Ranger Distress, Versamark Watermark; Stickles; Stamps: Hero Arts A2840, Inkadinkado Christmas Silhouettes

TOOLS: eyelet setter, star cookie cutter, Ink Blending Tool, needle, scissors, Cutterpede

The large star is also a leftover from a year ago. All you have to do is roll out some FIMO and cut out a star with a cookie cutter. Bake it according to packing directions. (NOTE: I've heard that you should not bake your clay in the same oven you use for food. I have a small toaster oven I use for this purpose. I've also made things out of PaperClay - which air dries and is even lighter than FIMO.) I covered the star with Versamark and then sprinkled on silver embossing powder and heat set. I did this three times, altogether. I LOVE THE WAY IT TURNED OUT! It's lighter than it would be if it were made of metal, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think the eyelets and the star were made by the same company using the same material.

So I highly recommend you get yourselves some FIMO and have at it! 

Oh, one other thing. My star was a little warped, but when I heat-embossed it, it softened just enough so I could flatten it. BONUS!!!

Now onto that singing vegetable I know you're all dying to meet....

Suzanne has entered the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest with a truly inspired entry! I mean, really, who can live without a Yodeling Pickle? Who can fail to appreciate the absurdity of a yodeling pickle?

I wish this had been around in 1980. I had these two buddies, Mike and Andy, and we were as thick as thieves in middle and high school. When we were sophomores, our school buses dropped us off at school at 7:05 a.m, and we would have to spend the next 55 minutes trying to behave ourselves in the library.

(In the library, for heaven's sake - we were much too prone to laughing and chatting to belong in the library. Besides which, you can get pretty punchy that early in the morning, so we were even more giggle-happy than usual. I just know that librarian thought we were on drugs.)

Aaaaaaanyway... one morning we were having this heated debate about joke writers for television shows - I think I was taking the stance that it couldn't be that hard to make people laugh because we were constantly seeing regular people saying funny things in everyday life that made us laugh. Andy took umbrage at this - and Andy taking umbrage at something was quite the sight. He had a tendency to grow even more animated than usual, (think Richard Simmons on speed) and his voice would climb the register like an outraged diva. 

This argument had been going on for some time, and Andy - just FIT to be tied - finally shrieked, "Look it's not that easy! You don't just sit down and say, 'So there was this pickle....'"  

You, of course, cannot appreciate this memory. And I am truly sorry for you. Because I can remember that winter day back in 1980 like it was yesterday - and I'm laughing so hard I can hardly type. I love the absurd, and you just don't get much more absurd than an agitated teenager bellowing, "There was this pickle..." at 7:30 in the morning.  

Of course, it could just be me. It probably is just me, because there were at least seven other people at that library table, but I'm the only one that couldn't stop laughing. (It's really good that I wasn't a coffee drinker, because I'm sure my undies would have been compromised.) And for years after that, all any of them would have to do was sidle up to me and whisper, "There was this pickle..." and I would fall out all over again.

Like I'm doing right now.

I should buy two of these and send them to Andy and Mike just to remind them that there was this pickle....

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Don't forget to enter the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

See RULES and sample entries.

Prizes are to be had, so enter now and don't miss out!!!

More Entries in the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 Contest!!!

Oh, this is exciting!

Our second entry comes from my college buddy Ann, and I must say that this is truly a rotten gift. For only $14.99 you, too, can own this lovely Nose Shower Gel Dispenser! Perhaps this would be a good gift for that roommate who needs to take a shower? Or maybe something that would help you get your bath-hating boy into the tub?

Lysa has come forth again!

I am not a fan of flatulence-inspired humor. I can't even bring myself to say the short word for breaking wind - we refer to it as "tooting" at our house (if we must refer to it at all).

I know, I know, it makes no sense that I can easily let rip a lot of four-letter unprintable words but can't bring myself to utter this one.

Anyway, I've never understood the attraction or mirth that results from this particular bodily function, which is why I am completely amazed at this next gift. I've decided not to post the photo of the Fanny Bank here (because some people have little kids hanging over their shoulder and might object to seeing a bank in the form of a bottom). Click on the link, though, and you can see it in all its glory. This might be a good gift to send certain CEOs as an appropriate response to their recent billion-dollar bailouts....

Lysa's second offering is... well... bizarre. Which is good because I don't want to limit entries to those items that are merely tacky and/or tasteless.



Beef band-aids. Doctor yourself for $4.99.

You can also get this item in the ever-popular bacon version (and at the cheaper bacon rate, too - only $3.99 a box).

Or, for the truly discriminating patient, how about some bacon and eggs on your boo-boos?
Also available for only $3.99!

Who came up with this? Does he often have such unusual ideas? And who decided to finance this idea? (Maybe this was AGI. That would certainly explain a lot.) There must be a story behind this. (Bonus points to whoever can find out.) And how thoughtful to include a toy to take your mind off the "excruciating pain" of your injury.

Give this to your vet?  Dog groomer?  That clumsy waitress at Joe's Eats?

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Don't forget to enter the Worst Catalog Gift of 2008 contest!

See RULES and sample entries.

Prizes are to be had, so enter now and don't miss out!!!