For everyone who's been sending me emails, wondering if my recovery took a nosedive, (since I've been MIA) I'm doing well. I've not been posting because all (and I do mean ALL) of my spare time has been taken up with the Big Surprise.
Who knew it would involve so much work? I've been emailing and scheduling, planning and replanning, phoning and emailing some more.... (If typing burned as many calories as jogging, my butt would look as fine as Jessica Simpson's.)
But this is what happens when you're trying to catch a little blue frog!
I had to slow down a little bit the other day, though, when I began to experience auditory hallucinations.
I was rapid-fire emailing while trying to help Gigi with her homework. I was clearly only listening with half an ear as my head jerked up at her mention of "Pervert Hoover." I gasped and involuntarily shrieked, "Pervert Hoover?!"
(In my mind, I'm thinking, I can't believe they're talking about that nut job's predeliction for dressing up in women's underwear. Why are they even covering the FBI? Why do they need to use that kind of language? This is a Christian school! Right! I'm going to email Mrs. _____ as soon as I'm finished with this email and demand to know why we're referring to J. Edgar Hoover in such a manner!)
Meanwhile, Gigi says, "Pervert Hoover? Was he Herbert Hoover's twin?"
"Er... no. I... um... thought you said his first name was... er... not Herbert."
"Why would I say his name was not Herbert?"
"I don't know! I thought you meant somebody else!"
"So who's this Pervert Hoover?"
"Don't say that. There is no Pervert Hoover."
"But you just said you thought I was talking about him."
"I... I... made a mistake! I guess I thought you misread it!"
"But I didn't misread it."
"Okay, already! Just forget Perv- him. It. Whatever! Just... tell me what did President Hoover do?"
And with that, Gentle Readers, I decided I had best turn my full attention toward Gigi and her homework, lest I receive an email from Mrs. ____ inquiring as to why my child was asking her about someone named Pervert Hoover and did I really think it was appropriate to be using such language?
Who knew homework could be so frought with peril?