So, after digging deep, deep down to find a solution to my miserable kitchen problem, I decided to inventory our assets.
We do have the paint and wallpaper already. We bought these during killer sales and they've been quietly gathering dust in the cellar because painting and wallpapering are what you do after you've replaced the ceiling, light fixtures, cabinets, counters, and walls.
But I'm past caring about the order of things. I'm in one of my legendary kamikazi moods. Inaction is no longer possible. I must convince Spouse to join me with my going rogue... the question is how best to do it?
Time to inventory character traits and personal preferences!
Spouse has a Master's Degree in Scene Design, and has much experience with all things faux. Spouse can be galvanized by appearances.
More importantly, Spouse really hates our countertops.
He hates them almost as much as he hated the 18' of day-glow orange formica we enountered in our South Carolina rental. (To give you an idea of just how dreadful those countertops were, I once threw a shoe at Spouse during a heated debate, and I KNOW it was that countertop that drove me to it. I have never before or since thrown anything at anyone, so there you have it!)
So after the Appalling Shoe-Heaving Incident, (as we came to call it) I covered the kitchen countertop with "marble" contact paper, and it was amazing how well that stuff held up. Maybe we could do that again?
Today I found contact paper (much thicker and sturdier) specifically made for covering table tops. And here's what it looks like on the counter:

You really can't tell where one piece stops and another begins unless you bend your head parallel to the counter and make an effort to find the seams. It took a little less than one roll ($5.99) to cover this bit of counter. It took five more rolls to cover the rest, so the whole cost for "new" counters" was $35.
Gigi is much enamored of my "clever" fix and boasted that she bet nobody else in her class had faux granite countertops.
I'm pretty sure she's right about that.
Spouse was sufficiently galvanized, so he's removed and primed the doors, and is now painting them a brilliant red! Once the painting is completed, we'll move onto the wallpapering. The budget for the rest of this project is zero dollars because we already had the paper and paint. So we'll just see what happens.
More pictures to come!
