Many of you have been really supportive and encouraging while I've been dealing with the issue of my father's dementia. I am so grateful and thank you all so much for the comments, emails, and cards.
I have some good news to report, so I thought I'd share.
The Serenity Unit was able to place him in a nursing home with a "locked ward" which means he will not be able to go wandering off. They told him he was going to a different place for physical therapy, I guess, because he told me he had escaped the Serenity Unit by having perfect behavior and they had to let him go. (Before this he had insisted the hospital was really a prison and they weren't letting him out because they were afraid he would report them to the authorities - this would be part of his paranoid delusions.)
He also told me they had to send him to this "high end hotel" for physical therapy that is underwritten by Medicare and could I please pick up his car and keep it for him because he anticipated being there at least three months?
This, of course, reveals that he hasn't got a clue that he's in there for the rest of his life, and I'm really hoping that he'll continue to hold on to this particular delusion because I like that one a lot better than the ones that revolve around everybody at the hospital being white slavers and drug lords and thieves. More importantly, I like how he sounds now that he thinks he's staying in a hotel: much happier and far more relaxed.
Now that we have him placed, I have to file for guardianship and Medicaid and figure out what to do about his car lease, his apartment, and all of his credit cards, etc.
If anybody has any experience or advice she'd like to share, please don't be shy; DO leave a comment.
Thanks for stopping and have a blessed day!
Deborah
Deb, I have no advice to give to you as I have no experience on this matter. I just want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending lots of prayers. I can only imagine how hard this must be. Hugs.
Posted by: Vera W. Yates | July 24, 2014 at 10:44 PM
I'm glad you're finding solutions. It's very difficult situation to go through. Sorry I can't give you any advice, but I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Janet Swanlady21 | July 25, 2014 at 05:12 AM
Thank you for the update. It sounds like a happy ending for all of you. I'm sure you now have some peace of mind. God bless
Posted by: Carolyn Picken | July 25, 2014 at 07:18 AM
So glad your dad is in a safe place and that you will have peace of mind knowing this, Deborah. Once you have legal guardianship, the financial problems can be dealt with accordingly. Sending you lots hugs and prayers!!
Posted by: joy | July 25, 2014 at 08:34 AM
Sorry not to have any advice to share but having supported my friend when his late father went through similar difficulties I have an inkling of just how hard a situation this is. Once the whole legal guardianship thing is sorted life will become easier on the practical side. Make sure you do something to make YOU happy as often as possible. My friend found this to be very important and said it helped. Hugs to you, Jo x
Posted by: Dotty Jo | July 26, 2014 at 07:00 AM
Well, you have achieved the most important part; your father is safe and he sounds relieved to be away from the demons that were chasing him. I was going to recommend an attorney and then remembered: you are one!! I would think acquiring legal guardianship is your next step; and then on from there.
You have accomplished what seemed impossible .. that had to be the hardest part. How relieved your family must be. Lots of prayers and many hugs.
Posted by: Judy Jung | July 26, 2014 at 04:42 PM
Thank you, everyone, for all of the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They are so very appreciated!
Posted by: Deborah | July 27, 2014 at 12:50 AM
I can't give you too much help. A year ago I placed my mother in an assisted living facility just for her own safety. She was falling, not taking her meds and not eating well. The evening I told her that she was going, she cried, shook her walker and said that she wasn't going. The next morning she had calmed down and we took her there. She was so much safer there, and had 3 great meals a day, plus snacks. She had been living alone and now she was socializing with people and doing so much better. Later she thought it was her idea, which gives me comfort. She has since passed away (93 years old) but I know that her last 7 months were spent socializing with people her own age, working crossword puzzles etc. We do what we have to as adult children. I will pray that you can find the guidance you need for the financial portioin of your father's care.
Posted by: Joanie | July 27, 2014 at 02:48 PM
I can't share any advice, but just want to let you know that you and your Dad are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs, and please remember you are not alone.
Posted by: Loly Borda | July 27, 2014 at 11:07 PM
I'm so sorry to learn that your father's situation has deteriorated so much, but am glad you've finally found a facility he is happier in. One of the resources I used when sorting out my mother & my eldest brother's situation was the local ombudsman office for senior care. Being an atty, you already have an edge on most people who have to navigate this landscape. Feel free to email or message me if you would like more feedback or just need to vent. (((hugs)))
Posted by: Star Bustamonte | July 31, 2014 at 09:26 AM